question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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