please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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