You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I touched a dick in church today
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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