There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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