I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
