my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
