woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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