I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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