i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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