...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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