Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
