my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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