Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
