It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
