Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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