I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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