so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.