i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.