i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
sarcasm needs its own font
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.