Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
