I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
