my mouth tastes like poor choices
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
