Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
