So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
