the condom got lost in my hair
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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