You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is my gift to your gina
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
