so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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