maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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