she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This toilet bowl is my home.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize