My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
