seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.