How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.