i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex