I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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