carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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