I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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