I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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