made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
