There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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