Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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