Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Houston, we have a blender
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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