I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
