Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize