I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
