It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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