Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
