I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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