i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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