Your tits are I can't wait for
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
