I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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