SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
