WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
