OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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