I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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