sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
