I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
