Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize