Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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