But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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